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Lovely Gunner Try by ~aoedeqinyuepapillon:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Haiku & Eastern


I..... just see.. omniscient blue clouds~... when my heart~ is alone in the vast sky;
...when..... the.. sunshine may enter my heart~... lonely is far... apart~~

Deep.....inside like a most furious cage~... age and sorrow~ comes with the price to lay;
...Again.....you.. be my lover~... as hearts shine and feathers will soar~~   
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:

Author's Comments

This is part one of my Aiutami...

An Aiutami is a lovesong with seasonal, fantasy or surreal like view.

here is the kanji...愛歌見

This is called Lovely Gunner Try
sometime I am going to hope make
a instrumental on mod-plug free software
some of you should give it a try...
[link]

Comments


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:iconrizareth:
~Rizareth Dec 5, 2008, 4:11:42 AM
ooh, if you do that I'd like to hear it :]
so the "..." breaks and the "~" are holding the note?
It sounds good when I try to sing it in my head..

--
He eats her...because he is hungry.
:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:
~aoedeqinyuepapillon Dec 5, 2008, 4:27:04 AM
yes, they are:

the '...'(dots) are like the holding note;
the'~'(whaeverthatthingiscalled) are the high cadenza chorus.

Either I find a singer to go with my song, sing it myself, or just keep it instrumental. X3

--
[link]

SneakerPimp33's
Awesome dragon gallery [link]
:iconrizareth:
~Rizareth Dec 5, 2008, 4:33:06 AM
ah, I see. I'd sing it for you if I could, but my singing is pretty terrible :p
good luck!

--
He eats her...because he is hungry.
:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:
~aoedeqinyuepapillon Dec 5, 2008, 4:34:46 AM
hey, maybe thee should be a Nihon version?

--
[link]

SneakerPimp33's
Awesome dragon gallery [link]
:iconrizareth:
~Rizareth Dec 5, 2008, 4:37:02 AM
I think there should be for sure. Because that way you could express it even more purely. That's what I think, anyway. Because each word in English has so many connotations, it's hard to make people think just what you want them to when they hear it. Unless you use very complex and specific words @_@

--
He eats her...because he is hungry.
:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:
Mood: Zest ~aoedeqinyuepapillon Dec 5, 2008, 4:40:46 AM
agreed X3

--
[link]

SneakerPimp33's
Awesome dragon gallery [link]
:iconrizareth:
~Rizareth Dec 5, 2008, 4:44:07 AM
Take your time! :]
ah, I must say I really loved that haiku "ah hashire hashire takusan mo"
beautiful. It just sticks in my head..

--
He eats her...because he is hungry.
:iconaoedeqinyuepapillon:
~aoedeqinyuepapillon Dec 5, 2008, 4:49:13 AM
are you talking about this...
[link]

sorry for the links I get out of control... d(=_=)b

--
[link]

SneakerPimp33's
Awesome dragon gallery [link]
:iconrizareth:
~Rizareth Dec 5, 2008, 4:50:44 AM
this one, yes :]
and links are good, gives quick information easily

--
He eats her...because he is hungry.
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